The last week (for now)

It has been three months (to the day) and my plane flight carrying me back to New York is approaching swiftly.
It leaves me with a feeling similiar to what must be in the atmosphere when two galaxies collide. Turmoil, anguish, exaltation, reflection, anxiety. Happiness? I don't know. In the same moments that I miss my dear ones and the familiarity our communication provides, I fear such a drastic shift to the system like returning to familiarity after basking for so long in the extremely estranged enviros around here.
No one stares at anything in New York. That is all they do here. Maybe I will die from lack of unknown sustenance from the prolonged gazes that I detest because they make me so uncomfortable. Maybe I will choke on all of the individualized competition oozing through the cracks and lubricating the grinding wheels of New Yorks heart beat. Or maybe I will say a joyful farewell to the unplanned, non-punctual, and all happenings forever up-in-the-air existence of my (sometimes) quaint surroundings.
Who knows? Not I.
How did I put it the other day? It is like catapulting yourself into different environments that shock your system into spaces or forced learning and growth. It is uncomfortable and distressing, but exhuberant and absolutely life-changing.

And I love it.

Currently I am painting a picture of the two galaxies in Canis that are 'colliding' or as I like to put it, dancing. Some form of cosmic love-making. Torrid and violent and full of grace.
The image is indicative for more reasons than one.

Because that's what it is isn't it? A delicate concoction of brutality and divinity. Not too much of either, because they both have conflict in this land.

I have heard the phrase 'life-changing experience' before but have never really given it much thought, no basis of comparison.
But I can say - that I have a frame of reference now.
And its after-effects I have still to absorb for a long time coming.

All I know is that I am not leaving any piece of this world behind me. It has been kind enough to allow me to carry it in my cells, teaching me realities so radically different from what I think of as my own, and whispering its secrets subtly along the way.

Thank you everyone, for not only making this journey (or 'safari' in Swahili) possible - but fro coming along with me. It truly has given me strength.


I will see you soon.
Love,
Chelsea